I Don't Want Anything More Than To See Your Face When I Open The Door

In my About Me section I say somewhere at the end "I hope you like.... well, BT." I hoped you'd like him. I hoped I would. I should have included more of him in here. It's all in my diary and all stuck in my mind in little pieces that come back to me through deja vu, his face, dreams, and alone time. And sometimes even certain words. Oh, and movies of course. Mainly chick flicks. One day, I hope, I will copy ecvery single moment down into here or somewhere else in typing.

You see, I officially switched over to MC. I got over BT. I did it. Well, MC lasted for one, almost two months. And I'm back to BT. Even though he's looked at me only twice since I don't know when. Some insignificant date on the calendar. But, I've started dreaming of him again. I've started thinking of him again. I've started WANTING to see him again. Stand next to him again. I'm seeing him, REALLY seeing him, on Wednesday. I hope I talk to him, at least once. If I don't, well, it would suck. Seriously suck. But I like him. I won't say I love him again yet, but he was the first and only boy I've ever actually loved. Not just a crush, or a like-like, or a whatever it's called. Will I love him again? Did he ever love me? Can he start? Like, now?

And that is it for now. I will write soon. Sorry it's been so long, again. I'll get better at this someday.

Today's title is from the song: "Chinese" by Lily Allen. Check it out. "Here (In Your Arms)" is still my favourite song. But "Thinking of You" has surpassed "Live Your Life".

Goodbye.

Likingly,
LC

How Do I Get Better Once I've Had The Best?

BT. MC. MH. DV???

I don't know. Last night, I was reading Breaking Dawn until four in the morning. I wanted to kiss MC so badly which is odd, seeing as I hate the memory of the Truth or Dare kiss so much. I want to be with him every minute. I'm seeing him on Friday hopefully, I've planned out a couple sample conversations.

I am over BT. I mean, I must be. I want to be over him so badly, so that doesn't that mean that I am? I still get the stupid twisty feeling in my stomach when I see him, or hear his name or whatever but it's not in the good way. I don't miss him. Really. I miss the old him, not the new one. But it looks as if the new BT is here to stay.

My favourite song is still Here (In Your Arms) by Hellogoodbye, although it is such a pain to type out. Second is Live Your Life by T.I and Rihanna. And third is Thinking of You by Katy Perry which is where the title of this post came from.

Unbearably,
LC

PS: Did I spell 'unbearably' right? Or no?

I Miss You

Well, it's been a really long time. And I am very sorry. I'm leaving for California in 2 days. I will be there for 10 days. I'm still in love with BT. Here's the status:

Bro - thinks I like no one
RD - thinks I like no one
KK - thinks I like no one (not for long)
JS - thinks I like DV (don't know why)
CM - thinks I like BT (congrats)

So yeah. Other than that, there is nothing much to tell. Actually wait, that's a lie. I kissed MC. It was Truth or Dare but still. It was horrible. I used to like being friends with him, but now I just hate him. He's rude, disrespectful, selfish, mean, and ugly. And he got pink braces. I hate that.

Anyway, goodbye.

Messed-up-ingly,
LC

What color is your soul painted?

What color is your soul painted? Blue Your soul is painted the color blue, which embodies the characteristics of peace, patience, understanding, health, tranquility, protection, spiritual awareness, unity, harmony, calmness, coolness, confidence, dependability, loyalty, idealism, tackiness, and wisdom. Blue is the color of the element Water, and is symbolic of the ocean, sleep, twilight, and the sky. Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

I Need A Little More Luck Than A Little Bit

I will waking up for a couple of seconds from my long September to wish BT a silent 'Happy Birthday! I love you!!!' on September 17th. After that, I will fall into a deep sleep once again.

And also, after this post I will no longer be using any more 'sleeping/napping' metaphors.

Gotta go, more very soon.

Helplessly,
LC

Wake Me Up When September Ends

This is going to be a short post. There isn't REALLY anything exciting to write. (Except that I witnessed a mugging last night but... NO HONESTLY I REALLY DID. But I can't tell you now cuz my fingers are aching) I'm not going to see BT in September (for more than two minutes at least) so I may as well just take a nice month-long nap. Wake me up. But don't worry, I'll still continue posting during the month of September. I'll just be sleeping...

Yawningly,
LC

Baby, Look At Us

I saw BT again yesterday and I have bad; no not bad, HORRIBLE news. He probably walked past me like, four times and he didn't look at me once. I saw him looking from severeal feet away twice but, that could mean anything! I have really NO IDEA, NO CLUE if he likes me or not. I'm sick of this guessing. But he's worth it. :D

Other guys are so easy to read. They're like an open book. BT is like a closed book that I have to struggle to open but what's inside is: NOTHING. What a metaphor huh? *massive sighs*

So as always, I will keep you posted. A shout out to my bad-at-commenting fans! Love you. And I love BT, of course.

Blankingly,
LC

When You're Gone The Pieces Of My Heart Are Missing You

I just saw him yesterday and he is living proof that the more you see people, the more you miss them. Well, important very much loved people anyways, like BT. I mean, I miss him a lot when I haven't seen him in like a month but some of the memories of when I last saw him will start to kind of fade away. Whereas, I just saw him yesterday and these memories are still fresh in my mind.

Anyway, I suppose I will tell you about yesterday. My finger is no longer aching and there isn't even a mark to remember it by. Gotta love wasps huh? Don't leave any proof, just leave the pain. That way there is only one eye witness, and sometimes none. But moving on, I'll stop ranting.

YESTERDAY:
Bro decided to invite BT over. I was babysitting and when I got home Bro goes: "Oh yeah I hope you don't mind, BT is coming over in like, ten minutes."

IN MY MIND/THE REAL ME:
I'm thinking: "Yessssssssssssssssssssss!!!! I'm gonna see BT!!!! I'm gonna see BT!!!!! Woot woot!!" And so on....

REALITY CHECK/ME IN HUMAN FORM:
I roll my eyes and say: "God Bro, are you kidding me? Why HIM???!!!!????"

So anyway, twelve minutes goes by: BZZZZZZ! goes the buzzer. BT has arrived! We spend the first half hour or so playing SSX on the PS2. I beat BT every time. Hahaha. We then went to a store by my house and bought Lime Crush and Extra Island Blend gum. After that, we went to a park near my house and played Grounders and Tag. After that, Bro and BT went to soccer practice and I was abandoned, home alone, left to daydream about the days events. I had fun. So yes, in case you haven't figured it out yet, I still love that boy.

Lonelying,
LC