I Don't Want Anything More Than To See Your Face When I Open The Door

In my About Me section I say somewhere at the end "I hope you like.... well, BT." I hoped you'd like him. I hoped I would. I should have included more of him in here. It's all in my diary and all stuck in my mind in little pieces that come back to me through deja vu, his face, dreams, and alone time. And sometimes even certain words. Oh, and movies of course. Mainly chick flicks. One day, I hope, I will copy ecvery single moment down into here or somewhere else in typing.

You see, I officially switched over to MC. I got over BT. I did it. Well, MC lasted for one, almost two months. And I'm back to BT. Even though he's looked at me only twice since I don't know when. Some insignificant date on the calendar. But, I've started dreaming of him again. I've started thinking of him again. I've started WANTING to see him again. Stand next to him again. I'm seeing him, REALLY seeing him, on Wednesday. I hope I talk to him, at least once. If I don't, well, it would suck. Seriously suck. But I like him. I won't say I love him again yet, but he was the first and only boy I've ever actually loved. Not just a crush, or a like-like, or a whatever it's called. Will I love him again? Did he ever love me? Can he start? Like, now?

And that is it for now. I will write soon. Sorry it's been so long, again. I'll get better at this someday.

Today's title is from the song: "Chinese" by Lily Allen. Check it out. "Here (In Your Arms)" is still my favourite song. But "Thinking of You" has surpassed "Live Your Life".

Goodbye.

Likingly,
LC

How Do I Get Better Once I've Had The Best?

BT. MC. MH. DV???

I don't know. Last night, I was reading Breaking Dawn until four in the morning. I wanted to kiss MC so badly which is odd, seeing as I hate the memory of the Truth or Dare kiss so much. I want to be with him every minute. I'm seeing him on Friday hopefully, I've planned out a couple sample conversations.

I am over BT. I mean, I must be. I want to be over him so badly, so that doesn't that mean that I am? I still get the stupid twisty feeling in my stomach when I see him, or hear his name or whatever but it's not in the good way. I don't miss him. Really. I miss the old him, not the new one. But it looks as if the new BT is here to stay.

My favourite song is still Here (In Your Arms) by Hellogoodbye, although it is such a pain to type out. Second is Live Your Life by T.I and Rihanna. And third is Thinking of You by Katy Perry which is where the title of this post came from.

Unbearably,
LC

PS: Did I spell 'unbearably' right? Or no?